“How is it that you are single? You are smart, you are cute, you are funny, you shouldn’t have a hard time finding somebody. I am sure you are too picky!”
I wish I had had a euro each time I had heard this sentence, coming from friends, family members, random strangers. Didn’t matter, who it came from, it hurt the same way every time: the way it implied there must have been something wrong with me for this couple of mine not to happen.
Believe me, I would have given anything to not be single anymore. Actually, I was giving everything to it: all my time, my money and my attention were dedicated to not being single anymore. Going on dating website, going out even when I didn’t really feel like it, giving credit to everybody’s advice about what I should do and not do to get (and keep!) someone.
Up to the point it became an obsession. I would go somewhere and scan the room upon arrival to check if there was any guy I didn’t know, see if I could have a chance, even tiny, to get a nice conversation, a smile, anything that could give me hope that this could go further eventually.
I was so miserable, lonely and desperate at that time. It seemed like the more efforts I was doing, the more I was scarring any guy around! In the meantime, people around me started to get married, to have children. Still nothing for me… The entire situation seemed so unfair, I would cry myself to sleep out of desperation.
Until I reached my lowest point in 2013…
What happened you will ask? Well, I learned that the guy I was seeing was using me to cheat on his girlfriend he had actually never broke up with…An old story you will tell me! Maybe, but for me it was the “too much” point I needed to decide to stop acting the same way and do something different for a change.
I wish I could tell you I have had an instant revelation that changed everything, while the truth is it was a lot of hard work, hours of counselling and coaching, regularly getting it wrong before I got it right. But little by little, I started to notice some tiny yet noticeable improvement, some new thoughts and behaviours I wouldn’t have before. Small changes became big life changes.
I not only changed my way of dating, I changed the way I saw myself, the way I saw relationships, the role of my partner, my character itself, but more importantly, what I wanted in my life, what made me happy, what was important for me. I asked myself questions like I never did before. I discovered answers I didn’t even know existed.
It was hard and long, but I would do it all over again if I had to, because the knowledge, the wisdom and the freedom I gained during this period are priceless. It’s equipped with those tools- and the others I have acquired along the way ever since, that I would like to help any single women living this situation today.
I can help you do the same on your own terms
Every human being is unique, and so is every journey of change and self growth. Your path will be different than mine, but I believe my experience and my support could help you fast track some of those steps.
From neediness and desperation, to…
Work on the notion of necessity associated with being in a relationship
Bring into light our own value
Get crystal clear about what is important for you as individual
Get crystal clear about what is important for you in a relationship
Learn how to build a happy relationship
Evaluate the added value of a relationship
Truly choose your relationship status
So, are you ready to take ownership of your life and write your own fairy tale?